How to publish in the face of crippling self-doubt
A toolbox that kept me going for 13+ years.
I shouldn’t be a content creator.
My self-doubt is unstoppable. Every article, post, or video is a fight against self-destructive thoughts:
What if no one reads/listens/watches?
What if they misunderstand?
Did I choose the wrong career?
Most creators have this problem. I’ve noticed it in my clients and followers. I’ve read and heard about it in countless articles, podcasts, videos, and books. Too many succumb and quit their dream.
But I didn’t quit, for almost 14 years.
I keep publishing weekly articles, newsletters, videos, and short posts, despite my crippling insecurity. This is what kept me going.
A double purpose
I started creating content in 2010. People weren’t even using the term “content creator” at the time.
I wasn’t chasing a quick buck, although I had my fair share of dreams about six-figure launches.
I was looking to design a lifestyle I loved. At the same tim, teaching is my best skill, and teaching through content seemed the perfect fit for a 100% introvert like me.
This motivation remained through the years. A double purpose pushes me on:
it's a path to personal fulfillment (selfish purpose),
I want to help others with my knowledge and educational skills (selfless purpose).
Anti-purpose
There's also a negative force pushing me, probably as strong as my double purpose: I don't want to work for anyone else.
During my PhD, I worked as an employee for my supervisor. He’s a very smart researcher. But, on a human level, he killed me.
I feel my ideas and sensitivity always differ from 95% of the people I meet. I would feel caged in any conventional job. And in the area where I leave, most jobs are just basic and boring.
This pushes me to keep working on my content business, even though a job may be less stressful (just “may”, by the way).
Like-minded peers
After founding and growing my photography blog all by myself, I embarked on my second online project. This time, I joined another guy who was launching the same exact project I thought of.
I needed to share the journey with a like-minded person. There’s no one like that where I live. My burning interests are like an alien language for my close relatives and acquaintances.
Feeling like an outcast fuels self-doubt. If no one else shares your interests, you think you are wrong.
Fortunately, I found a handful of people like me. Unfortunately, arranging calls is hard, so I often can only message them. But it’s better than nothing.
Constructive brainwashing
I spend most of my time in a virtual world of my own making. I continually consume content created by and about people who are doing what I'm doing, that love to nerd out on the topics I love.
In my virtual world, everyone is a content creator. It’s another way to feel less marginalized and counteract self-doubt.
The achievements audit
Our memory doesn’t store exact recordings of our experiences. It filters, remixes, rearranges throughout our entire lives.
Strong self-doubt poisons memory. I keep forgetting about what I’ve done, and downplaying what I remember.
Recently I found the perfect exercise to counteract this tendency. I listed all the achievements in all the areas of my entire life, big and small.
It was revealing, and relieving. That long list pushed away the feeling of being like a failure for a while.
This is also a useful exercise for generating content ideas. There are lots of stories and lessons learned connected to those achievements.
Celebration board
Another way to stop forgetting about my achievements is my Celebration Board. It’s a Notion board where I save screenshots, short snippets of text, or anything that reminds me of even the tiniest result.
I saved comments from my readers, clients’ results, financial outcomes, and so on. The mere act of adding them to the board makes the memory stronger. But every time I open the board, I’m reminded of something good from my past. It’s a self-confidence boost.
Iron-clad systems
I had a particulary chaotic week some time ago. My father had knee surgery, a relative passed away unexpectedly, and my brothers visited.
Despite the chaos, I managed to:
post over 100 replies and schedule a couple dozen posts on 𝕏,
edit and submit two articles on Medium,
record two videos, edit and schedule another one,
do a consulting call,
chat with my coaching clients,
do several other things I don’t even remember.
This level of productivity is only possible because I have an iron-clad system and strong habits in place.
Healthy comparison
When I'm particularly exhausted, success stories can send me into a self-deprecating spiral. I compare myself to the best of the best and feel like a failure.
But comparisons may also be a learning opportunity. If I look at what my peers are publishing, I see people that publish things very similar to mine. If I look at the old content of my heroes, I realize they weren't exceptional right from the start.
This reassures me I can do it too.
What about you?
You don’t have to use all these tools. But I’m sure at least one will help you fight self-doubt.
Is there anything you would add?
I've nothing to add; this is great!
Something that works well for me is to write whatever I have to share. And then schedule the publishing a few hours in the future. It’s weird but it is reduces drastically whatever emotions I might have about my post.